The Little Mare that stole my heart...Dumas Little Darlin', Champion Tennessee Walking Horse Mare

She was fourteen years old, and came back to Valley City to spend her much deserved retirement.  A shy and aloof mare not necessarily wanting to be handled or caught to halter or groom.  But as it came to pass, I made huge strides with her.  Never rushing, always touching her a I called "Hey Miss Reba" and slowly drew my hand up to her head to place her blue halter on.  I would always reward her with a piece of apple or carrot.  At first she was not interested in the treats, but would take them if I placed them in her feed bucket on top of her feed.  She was a finicky eater but after having the equine dentist come for a few visits, her eating became very good and her ribs covered over and her coat was sleek.  The equine chiropractor was very kind to her and came every three months to do an adjustment on her hips, pelvis, spine and neck and shoulders as well as her legs.  I loved that dear little soul and she finally got to the point that I could walk up to her outside in pasture and put a lead on and walk her back into the barn at night.  A little over two years ago she came home and always would stand outside on the pasture side of Gold Star's Stall window after she was done grazing for the afternoon. They were in fact good buddies and you could count on seeing her just standing at rest outside of his window until he was let out into the pasture.

A very strange occurance happened during the night.  Gold Star escaped from his stall with both stall guards in place...I don't know how, but he must have been out all night.  When I arrived at the barn this morning to feed the three boys I found him standing over Reba's body.  He looked back at me and did not move.  Very touching and very spiritual too!  Horses have souls, and it is up to us to nurture them.


August 27, 2012 8:00 p.m.

Sad night last night when I went to the barn (next door). Reba was down in her stall and there was no getting her up. I called four or five friends and didn't get any answers on their phones, just voicemail. I kneeled down next to her and realized that this was the last time I would try to help her up. There was no strength left in her body to push or get in a upright position. The arthritis ...

had taken it's toll. She apprently stumbled turning in her stall and went down in the doorway. She looked up at me as if to say, "I'm done, let me go". It was a hard thing to do, calling to reach her owner who was in center ring at the Walking Horse Celebration in Tennessee last night. A mutual friend got in touch with him and he called me immediately saying "I'm sorry you have to be there to do this". I called Dr. Wiley who had given his equine practice up, but thankfully said he would come right over to administer the drugs to allow her to cross the Rainbow Bridge and be free of anymore struggling. I sat next to her holding her head up and fed her little bites of carrot until he came. She went peacefully as I stroked her head. She was a grand mare, winning many many ribbons and producing four foals for Bruce and Linda. Sweet Dreams Reba, and a peaceful goodnight!

August 28, 2012, 9:30 a.m.





Reba has been laid to rest in the corner of the pasture nearest to Charvat's property. I wanted her there because it is in the shade of a large tree.


Dan and Dave Crocker came almost right away. Sarah came from dropping Daniel off at school and she was the one to take off Reba's halter and she climbed down into the grave and spread a clean sheet on the bottom so she wouldn't be laying on the dirt, and then she positioned her legs so they would be ready to run. Then she covered her with another clean sheet and clean horse blanket and gave her the two apples I brought out for her journey.

Jerry came over in case we needed help and Frank, Maggie's husband came too. It was very professionally done and now She is quiet, peaceful and free of pain.

God's speed Reba, God's speed.

The Hoosier State...and their hospitality

I just returned from a trip to the Hoosier State.  Specifically, Edinburgh, Indiana at the Johnson County Horse Park (or the Hoosier Horse Park, site of the 19_ _ something and the facility was built for the  Pan Am Games.  In it's day it was a beauty and it is still "servicably sound" more or less, but dang it is dusty and dirty.  The maintenance crew does the best they can with what they have to work with, but (or maybe not) the last day was the kicker.  I had to ask that the manure bins located in the front (10 feet away) of the stalls be emptied, as it was overflowing.  In the process of emptying the large bin (the size of an enormous pasture water trough) the bobcat and it's operator drove over our hose.  Said hose was connected to the hydrant at the end of the barn and lying next to the chain link fence that separated the horse park from the road.  As Sarah was leaving the ring on Saturday after showing a horse she noticed this bobcat driving down the road with a strangely familiar looking green hose attached to it's underside and trailing lots of feet of hose behind.  The driver appeared to be oblivious to this phenomenon and went merrily on his way.  Sarah chased him down, other exhibitors were yelling and waving their arms to no avail.

A heated discussion led to "I will have you banned from showing on these grounds"! (I think not) and then the feud calmed down due to Sarah's negotiating skills kicking in, and shaking of hands occured.  The hose was wrapped four times around the axle, torn from it's coupling (thereby rendering the other hoses worthless with no way to shut off the flow) and so we were "Short Hosed" for the rest of the day.

The next day the young man appeared at the stalls, new green hose in hand and apologized for the incident etc.  He said that when he got home and told his wife of the incident, she yelled at him too!

A new green hose is better than no hose as the story goes....

Women everywhere unite!

My inconclusive travel plans 2012 .......

I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.

I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

I have, however, been in Sane.

They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and work.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.

I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.

I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.

Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.

One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!

I may have been in Continent, and I don't remember what country I was in. It's an age thing.

PLEASE DO YOUR PART!

Today is one of the many National Mental Health Days throughout the year.

Turn Loose the Horses

Monica Vlna was laid to rest today at the Strongsville Cemetary.  A sunny breezy day brought her friends and family to the graveside.  After the Priest said his words he said "Monica wanted this music played".
This was chosen by her daughter Dawn.  The ironic thing is this:  Her horses are always getting loose.  Sarah, Kevin amd Kelly were always looking out the windows and saying "Monica and Mark's horses are loose again".

The thing about the funeral that brought a lump to my throat and the tears to my eyes  was when someone brought a saddle rack, Monica's western saddle and her boots and placed them at the head of the casket.

It does'nt get much more poignant than that.

"Turn Loose The Horses"

I look down that winding road

I needed rest and a place to go

Sick and tired of running round

Flying high and falling down

I'm gonna leave these blues behind

For some other fool to find

He won't care and I won't mind

I can't lose what was not mine



Turn loose all the horses and watch them run

Take time to take in the setting sun

Throw back a keeper just to watch them swim

Forgive your enemies and love your friends



Life goes wrong it feels like too much bang

Surely broken hearts are gonna love again

I guess if your heart's torn around the seams

Just think about your favorite pair of faded blue jeans

And on and on about the things gone wrong

Every day it feels like the same old song

Poor tortured souls trying to pay their dues

But life's no fun when dreams don't come true



Turn loose all the horses and watch them run

Take time to take in the setting sun

Throw back a keeper just to watch him swim

Forgive your enemies and love your friends



Turn loose all the horses and watch them run

Take time to take in the setting sun

Throw back a keeper just to watch him swim

Forgive your enemies and love your friends

Talk is cheap and other bargains

I have been holding my thoughts and feelings in since I had my "episode".  I haven't talked about the fears, the stress, the anxiety, the embarressment, and the anger. Yes I am angry that this happened to me.  I am angry that it has made me afraid to live and afraid to die.

Yesterday was the day...finally I was at the end of my last nerve.  I did not realize that I have been testy, snappy, sullen or silent.  Apparently, I have been the only person to "not know".  Have you walked the other way when you saw me coming?  If so, I apologize. 

If I tell you I am afraid...afraid when my heart races a bit, or starts to pound a little, afraid to go to sleep for fear I won't ever wake up, afraid to eat what is not "on the list" of things that are fat free, salt free, caffeine free or cholesterol free, afraid to exert myself, walk faster or even run, afraid that I didn't take the pills when I should that another attack would happen.  I am just plain afraid. 

My fear my seem irrational to all of you, but it is very real to me. What if?  What if indeed.  If I talked about my fears and my inability to have the stamina to go the whole day without sitting down and resting I felt like I was growing old at such a rapid pace that you all would put me in a "home".  Again, rational not, irrational perhaps, but the old adage "perception is reality" is what it is.

I know this is a "ramble" for a blog, but I am finally letting my guard down.  Monday I meet my new cardiologist and I hope to have answers to unasked questions.  There are way more fears going through my brain that I won't mention now, but you all get the drift.

I realized that the "Going Home"  instructions, like when I had babies, were a little sparse, like "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water" comment.  I wasn't told what I could and should or could not and should not do.  At least I don't remember.  I have read the brochures and pamphlets and still don't know.  Can I take a pain pill like Advil, Motron, Tylenol or not.  The prescription pamphlets are filled with "Danger and side effects" and they scare the crap out of me.  The bruising is painfull yet to be expected, I know, but how much is normal and when should I be concerned.

I don't ask questions of "Professionals" especially Drs.  They are the experts and if I needed to know something I assumed they would tell me.  The instructions "If you miss one Plavax, you will have another heart attack and we don't know if we will be able to save you" was the only instruction I remember. 
That put the fear of God into me.  So, I guess I will take a list of questions to the Dr. on Monday, because I won't ask otherwise.

I have not run my vacuum cleaner for two weeks.  The guilt alone of that non-act should put me in a coma.  My house looks like goats live here and quite frankly even though it bothers me a lot, I can't make myself do anything about it.  I have discovered "Wonder Woman" I am not.  That realization has me in a tailspin too!

I think I will change the name of my blog to "The Ravings of a Mad Housewife", or has that title been taken?

Thank you to Ellen, Sarah and Stephanie.  I really needed to talk about what is going through my brain and you all made me feel less ashamed for being cranky.  The meds added to the fear do not a pleasant cocktail make!

"Welcome Back...

.......Kotter", should be the title of this post.  I attended a fund raiser last night at the Eagles in Medina.

Realtor Political Action Committee puts on this fundraising dinner and live auction every year.

I have attended every event since I became a realtor 25 years ago.

Last night's function had a Pirate Theme (as opposed to the Margaritaville theme it has had for so many years.  Committee members came dressed as Pirates, but no Johnny Depp look- a- likes.  The food was good and it was catered by Terry Jones of Eileen's Catering (no more Eileen's Cafe and Catering, she sold the cafe) anyway, it was totally amazing to me that people came up to me and said "I just heard you had a heart attack, How are you?"

In Facebook, Texting etc vernacular...OMG!

I could not believe such a volume of people would come up and hug me, say they were so glad to see me, ask me how I was feeling, and on and on.  My friend Anita who also had her heart attack a week after me was there with her husband Russ and she and I felt like we truly mattered to people.

It was a very humbling experience.  Very humbling.  People I have known over the years who are professionals and who I have a professional relationship with, were just "gushy".

Unbelievable really.  I was very, very touched and thinking to myself.  "Glad to see you too....really!"

Welcome Back, Welcome Back, Welcome Back.

True Confessions - part Five

"Can I go home today?"
  "Let me check". 
"Not today, we can't get your blood pressure stabilized."
"Why not?"
"It takes awhile for the right dose of medicine."

And again, and again they pulled out the old blood pressure cuff.
Each time it squeezed and made black and blue bruises on my
upper arm.  The pediatric cuff was much more comfortable on
my forearm and very little bruising.  Still up and down, up and down.

How did I let this happen to me?  You see, I blame myself for not
seeing the signs.  However, I now understand the "signs" of this heart
attack coming were very subtle and slow.  Apparently, several years
have gone by since the blockage started and I just attributed my
 "slowing down" to my advancing age. 

Not so.  Apparently we all have the same frame of mind as we get older,
slowing down was a state of mind with me...just push harder, that's all
I needed to do.  My priority list was long and my energy was getting
short.

Here's the kicker...I am not Wonder Woman!
 I know, I found it hard to believe too!