Heaven help us! (Thanks Linda of Louisville)

Subject: The Cowboy

A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?"

St. Peter asked. "Well, I can think of one thing," the cowboy offered. "On a trip to the Black Hills, out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, 'Now, back off or I'll kick the s - - t out of all of you!'"

St. Peter was impressed, "When did this happen?" "Couple of minutes ago."